Noelle Mikazuki

The Awesome One

Dec 31, 2019

2019: Year Of Growth

I know I barely update this blog anymore, but I guess this "tradition" of doing a yearly summary post + new year resolution post serves me well - I get to see how I slowly grow through the years, the good and bad times I've had, reminding myself to appreciate the blessings once again and to see myself change whilst I learn from my past mistakes.

2019.

It passed way too quickly.

I'm not sure if I would say that it was a bad year or a good one, but I'm pretty certain I've had more good times in the 2nd half the year that is enough to cover up the horrible start of 2019.

And among my resolutions set for 2019, 
(let's recap-)


1. Familiarize myself with minor& sharp/flat chords on the guitar
2. Get a bike/diving license
3. Release a song with proper arrangements
4. Mini performance overseas (with le band)
5. More covers
6. Get more rest
7. Start working out/dance?
8. Have more time for myself to relax
9. Massive printing of photos to hardcopy
10. Travel lesser, but further

I guess I've only managed to complete 2, and probably 6&8 in the last month of the year.
It's been a year of getting lost and stumbling my way through, and hence, a year of growth.




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I guess it's the first time ever that I've withdrawn myself from social media for a few months during the start of 2019. Not surfing Facebook/Instagram/even replying texts. And throughout the year of 2019, I've been using way lesser of social media & connecting with people. I'm sorry if I was irresponsible to do so, but I needed the space. I needed it.

Many horrible things happened, but through it all, I've learnt what I needed to.

1. Forgiveness. 
When people do harm to me and hurt me intentionally, instead of wishing for the worst karma to strike them, I feel happy (sincerely) for them to have found peace within themselves and be happy with their lives.

2. Self-Control.
 I learnt to control how I feel and think when I can't do anything to change my situation. I always bear in mind - I can't control nor change others' actions nor thinking, but I can control and change mine.

3. "Let it Be". 
I learnt to "let it be" - it may be 3 simple words, but it was harder to do than say. I learnt to loosen myself up instead of worrying too much over many situations. To try my best in everything and accept the results as it is.

4. Self Improvement.
 I guess this is the year I've read the most books - both on marketing related and about life. Improving my thoughts, being in a better mental state and being positive, making myself better for me. 

5. Perception. 
I might think I know people (or vice versa of people thinking they know me), but what we perceive are based on what we as individuals think or choose to believe. Yet, it might not be entirely right or true. 

6. Happiness. 
I stopped chasing after what I think would make me happy. Instead, I stopped and appreciate the little things that has always been making me happy. I cut off connections I didn't want to, that were the causes of negative emotions. 

7. Gratitude. 
Whether good or bad, I'm glad whatever happened in 2019 (or in the past) happened. This made me who I am today. I wouldn't specifically thank those to hurt me because it'll be stupid to thank someone who inflicted pain in you. But I'd especially like to thank the people who stood by me and watch me grow. 

8. Privacy.
I guess I was into blogging since I was 13 or 14? - in short, when I was really young. I grew up ranting to the internet and somehow it became a habit for me. Yet this in the recent years, especially this year, I've kept many things to myself because I can't talk about the shit that happened. I've learned to hold it in, and slowly let go. 

9. Spreading Positivity.
At least for my public accounts, I've started the habit since the start of the year to not post anything negative or anything that would worry you guys about me. Like how I want my music to help people going through tough times like me, I'm need to do so on normal days too.




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Also, I'd like to note these highlights of 2019 down on my blog too:


1. 


I joined a competition with le band mates "bandnextdoor" and we got into the finals! Though we didn't win, it was surely one experience in life I'd like to remember.


2.


I've gotten my open water diver certification after umpteenth time of saying that I want to get it and despite my fear for water/sea!! Thank you to M too, for going through this with me even though he already has the certification.


3. 



I've had the FIRST ever road trip in my life (excluding Malaysia). M & I actually had a round-Taiwan road trip where we went to 8 different cities in Taiwan and stayed in 7 different accommodations (crazy right?!). It was fun but a tad bit tiring cause we gotta check out at 11 or 12 everyday - which means we gotta wake up at 10-11AM for the whole trip. Defo was more tiring for M cause he's been the driver & motorist for 99.99% of the trip. It was a great experience though, and I'm looking forward to more road trips in other parts of the world!


4. 


I've actually started gigging - SOLO. It's quite a thing for me because I've always done gigs with someone else playing the instruments along with me and someone sharing the stage with me so that they can 讲冷笑话 with me so that I don't end up being too awkward. But I'm glad I had the chance this year to take up a solo regular!


5. 


I've found someone that I can be completely retarded with (he beats me to it most of the time :p). I'm not so much of a mushy wordy person but I'm glad you came into my life and made my 2019 such a great one.




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Moving forward to 20X2, I'm actually expecting bigger changes in life that I myself am uncertain about. But I'm definitely more excited than worried about what the future holds :)

So, down to my
Resolutions for 20X2

1. Healthier Lifestyle: Sleeping habits + Workout routines
2. Better Time Management & Self Discipline
3. Bike License?
4. More Covers/Recording of Originals
5. Career Progression

I honestly can't think of 10. Because these 5 are enough to keep me busy for next year and its what I really want to achieve so I would stay focused on these 5 instead of setting too many and end up not achieving them. 




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OK, today is officially the last day I'm gonna sleep at such wee hours so..

GOODNIGHT & GOODMORNING
for the last time!












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